Total isolation: The secret to success

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People suck. This is an irrevocable fact and anyone who tries to deny it sucks more than the average person. If you’ve ever been around a person before, I’m sure you’ll agree with me. It’s awful. Despite this undeniable fact, many people insist that “community” and “friendship” are essential to success. However, those people are lying to you in order to tear you down (this is often true, so keep it in mind for later). All of the most successful people you know are antisocial weirdos who nobody really likes. I mean, do you think Elon Musk actually has friends? Of course he doesn’t. 

The reason is that other people are simply a distraction. If you open yourself up to others, you all of a sudden have to deal with a host of new problems that honestly have nothing to do with you. You can’t say anything “offensive” (which basically means you can’t talk) and you can’t do anything “triggering” (whatever that means). And sure, if everyone thought like this maybe it would be okay. But the secret is that not everyone does. And when you surrender your autonomy to appease others you put yourself at a significant disadvantage compared to those who only look out for themselves. 

So if being part of a community is stopping you from reaching your full potential, what can you do to actually maximize your success? First of all, you must shed the hippie-dippie values that society has taught you since childhood (forget all that “Golden Rule” bs). In order to do this you must isolate yourself from the rest of society, ideally in a forest or on a mountain to get as far away as possible. By doing this, you will come to terms with who you truly are as a person outside of the damaging influence of other people. You should be doing this as long as possible, without telling anyone (they may try and stop you). Through this reconnection with yourself, you will come to realize that you are awesome and everyone else is the worst. Once you’ve achieved this enlightened state, you are ready to return to the real world. 

After you’ve returned, you must be careful not to fall back into society’s trappings. Every time you feel the desire to develop a meaningful relationship with someone else, remind yourself of every time another human has annoyed, betrayed, or otherwise caused discomfort to you. That should take a while and once you’re done you should have no desire to interact with anyone at all. If you still somehow feel the obligation to participate in social interaction try weighing the pros and cons. For example, let’s say someone’s invited you to their birthday party. Pros: you might have a good time. Cons: you’ll waste multiple hours talking to people you barely know, eating mediocre store bought cake, and participating in trivial party games made for babies when you could be advancing your position in life. Any time spent with other people could be better allocated towards working out, climbing the corporate ladder, progressing your intellect, and ultimately becoming the alpha. The choice is clear. 

Now, there are some situations where you may need other people. Maybe you need a promotion and proving to be a “team player” (an imaginary concept spread by communists) will put you over the edge. While this is not preferred, it may be necessary. In cases like this the number one rule is to never get attached. The human brain has a disgusting tendency to develop attachments to people despite how objectively terrible they are. Anyone who has witnessed someone turn into a blubbering mess after a breakup can see that this should be avoided at all costs. 

As you can see, people are the worst thing for success and in order to fully succeed you will have to sever all your attachments immediately. You’re already failing by taking the time to read this article. Why should you be listening to someone else’s advice? You better rent that cabin in the woods ASAP.

Anna Davis is a senior at Washington High School and she grew up in Fremont, California. This is her first year writing for The Hatchet and she hopes to cover topics such as student culture and art. She is the president of the Creative Writing Club. She is also the Technical Coordinator for the Performing Arts Club and has stage managed multiple productions for the club. She hopes to one day become a professional author but until then she wants to study creative writing, history, or sociology in college.

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