From dramatic proposals to perfect dates, movies and TV shows often portray dating as a series of grand gestures. Although these portrayals are entertaining to watch, they can also have a significant impact on how we view relationships in real life. For high school students, entertainment media plays a major role in our expectations about dating.
This belief is echoed by many students at Washington. “Relationships in movies and shows are cute, but they’re way too dramatic, which isn’t good,” says WHS senior Ishanvi Verma. “As high schoolers, we should not be pressured to have a dramatic relationship like what we see on TV.” When relationships are consistently portrayed as dramatic in media, students lose appreciation for stability and trust in relationships.
One area where media influence is clearly visible is Valentine’s Day. Films and shows often use expensive gifts and perfectly planned moments to characterize this holiday. According to senior Abeera Shamim, “Media has turned Valentine’s Day into a really big event, so students might be pressured into doing too much. Some students might feel upset if their Valentine’s Day doesn’t meet their expectations because of what they saw on TV.” Verma agreed, adding that “Media has definitely made students expect grand gestures from their dates on Valentine’s Day, which is unrealistic to expect when you’re a regular high schooler.”
Comparing real-life relationships to those shown in media can also affect students’ self-esteem and emotional well-being. Students may feel pressured to change their appearance or worry about how they are being perceived in school. Media also often encourages public relationships and dramatic gestures, which causes students to expect the same in real life. Shamim states, “Students might feel pressured to look a specific way online and compare themselves to other people, while dating in school can cause pressure from things like rumors.” For students who are not dating, the pressure can feel stronger. Verma believes that “TV shows and movies expect teens to get into relationships in school, but this isn’t normal outside of media.”
Another major issue is how TV shows and movies often ignore the significance of communication and effort in a relationship. Dating in media is unrealistic because it often shows miscommunication, which may prevent students from realizing the importance of healthy communication. “I think dating in real life is more about being comfortable with someone. Media also doesn’t show the amount of effort both people need to put in to have a good relationship,” states Verma.
Over time, dating has also changed due to social media and technology. Relationships today are often shared on social media, causing students to feel pressure about how they are perceived. According to Shamim, social media is “making relationships more public and fast-paced compared to past generations.”
Although movies and TV shows can be entertaining, they often present an incorrect and dramatized version of dating in real life, which affects students’ expectations of relationships. By recognizing the difference between fictional and real relationships, students can form healthier expectations.